


A Friendly Pursuit

by DancingInTheRain34



Series: High Fashion [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Courtship, Amused Gandalf, Cultural Differences, Fluff, Gen, Misunderstandings, Poor Bilbo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 18:57:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3620667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancingInTheRain34/pseuds/DancingInTheRain34
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Well, I think you were being very friendly indeed.” Gandalf continued, cheerily. “Not many would make such a brazen offer of courtship, especially to a dwarf of such stature and importance as Dwalin.”</p>
<p>“Yes, we- WHAAAAT?!" Bilbo choked.</p>
<p>Whilst Bilbo tries to make friends in the company and navigate a whole new culture gap, it's a given that there will be a few cultural confusions. This was one of the more... memorable ones.</p>
<p>This scene is very briefly alluded to in my 'High Fashion' story but can also be read independantly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Friendly Pursuit

Dwalin blinked slowly, then turned his fierce glare on Bilbo, before asking, slightly dangerously.

“What’d ya say laddie?”

“You, your axe... things... They’re nice?” Bilbo repeated self-consciously, scolding himself inside for making it sound like a question. And honestly, nice? A proper Baggins could present a better compliment than that! “I mean, they’re very... Very shiny!” He soldered on. “Like you polish them a lot!” Which Dwalin was very noticeably doing _right now_ , with that same menacing expression. “And um... well designed?” He trailed off again.

He flinched slightly as without warning, Dwalin heaved himself up from where he’d been sitting, fluidly sheathing his enormous axe in the same action, to glower down at him.

Oh dear.

The hobbit looked up apprehensively at Dwalin’s hulking figure. Surely he hadn’t done anything that bad? A quick glance around the camp told him that maybe he had. All the dwarves in earshot were staring at them very intently, Nori even snapping his fingers in front of Bofur’s yammering face to make him pay attention.

“Do nae go tryin’ it laddie. It ain’ gonna work.” Dwalin drawled. He gave Bilbo an obvious once-over, murky gaze dropping all the way from his widened eyes to his hairy feet, and snorted in disgust, eyes darkening.

Bilbo gulped. This could be it for him. ‘Death by inexplicably angry dwarf’ would indeed make quite an interesting headstone, he mused. Maybe his story wasn’t as heroic as the tale of Bullroarer Took but still, it could quite an exciting morality tale, warning generations of young faunts of the dangers of adventuring. Perhaps they would even write it up in a book and illustrate it...

“Maybe ye should try again when you’ve actually done somethin’ useful,” Dwalin’s growl interrupted his wandering thoughts. “The only thin’ not half-arsed about you is yer cookin’.” And with that he parked himself back down and ignored him. Bilbo, bemused as he might be (both at the response and his continuing existence) was obviously dismissed.

A quick glance back at the rest of the company didn’t serve to give him any clues. Ori looked very wide-eyed and from he caught a few disapproving looks and a few sniggers - Fili or Kili (honestly, which was which?!) looked like he was actually _crying_ he was laughing so hard – but most of the dwarves just went back to ignoring him. Apparently even doing things wrong, (because something unusual had just happened, even if he wasn’t sure what) wouldn’t keep their attention on him too long.

Feeling utterly bamboozled and more than a bit hard done by, he went and plopped down next to Gandalf.

“That was very brave, Bilbo.” The wizard remarked, eyes twinkling behind his pipe, ignoring the dry look Bilbo sent him.

“I was just trying to make _conversation_ , to be friendly, Gandalf!” Bilbo moaned. “I don’t even know what went wrong this time!” He simply wished to make friends with some of the dwarves but they had already been travelling for near two weeks and it was turning out much harder than he had anticipated. In hindsight maybe Dwalin had been a bad choice to try.

Maybe he should try to befriend little Ori next?

“Well, I think you were being very friendly _indeed_.” Gandalf continued, cheerily. “Not many would make such a brazen offer of courtship, especially to a dwarf of such stature and importance as Dwalin.”

“Yes, we- WHAAAAT?! Courtship?!” Bilbo choked. The wizard nodded, humming happily in agreement.

Oh Yavannah.

Oh his furry toes.

“So romantic...” Gandalf trilled. Bilbo was suddenly filled with a keen urge to strangle him.

Wait a minute... Dwalin had said...

“He wants me to TRY AGAIN?!” Bilbo squawked.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Please review and leave kudos!


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